Date reported: October 21st, 2025 12:00 PM

Date last active: October 21st, 2025

Activity: Person

Injury: No

The mission was clear: escape work function, secure counter lunch, return with dignity (and sliders) intact. Unfortunately fate and feathers had other plans. Securing the prize, a satisfyingly succulent slider stack, I hustled across the local watering hole car park dreams of brioche buns and chipotle mayo in my head. That’s when it came. A strike from behind! A warning shot. I spin, scanning the skies for danger. Nothing. Heart flurrying a frantic drumbeat. Seconds later, BAM!!! A second tiny assassin lands in front of me. Beak cocked. Wings out. Our eyes meet. The message is clear: Not today, human. I zig. I zag. My newly acquired nemesis mirrors me move for move. A feathered Mexican standoff ensues. I see myself below, weightlessly drifting higher as though tethered to the moment by only a thin string .... it was Tuesday, however I had declined the tacos.

Reported by: MillyGotMuggedByABird